5 Truths About Potty Training

Before Andy was even born I was running down the rabbit hole of Pinterest, reading articles about sleep schedules, feeding formula vs. breast milk, looking up ways to decorate the nursery, and - yes - even how to potty train.

I’m a type 4 - which means I am always looking to the future, if I’m not stuck in the past - so the idea of this new life I was about to embark on was something I could not stop imagining. I pinned countless blogs about potty training in three days, the naked theory, and how to potty train by 18 months.

Spoiler alert - those didn’t happen.

I ignorantly (or brilliantly) bought an Elmo potty from Target when Andy was turning 18 months. Instead of sitting on it, as I naively thought he would, it quickly became a stepping stool for driving mom crazy. I’m pretty sure every part of Andy’s body was on that potty - except his butt.

Fast forward a few months to Andy’s 2nd birthday; we were finally moved into our new house and I thought this would be the perfect time to revisit those articles and get this boy potty trained before the new baby was scheduled to arrive in three short months (because just the thought of wiping two butts was exhausting)!

We tried everything. Literally - everything. I bribed with books, candy, stickers, toys, television, playdates, new big boy underwear, my soul - ok, ok, that’s dramatic. But seriously, nothing worked.

The most frustrating part was that he would go on the potty - he just didn’t want to. Andy would cry for me to “wipe me butt” and “put on me diaper.” We would go through a couple hours of no accidents and then $#!% would hit the floor - quite literally as Andy would take off his diaper and bring it to me - and I gave up.

Let’s time travel again to a couple weeks ago. Andy woke up the same as usual. The coveted Elmo potty was silently sitting in the living room (after all this time) , as usual. He sleepily walked downstairs to pick out a book, as usual. And then something unusual happened. Andy pulled off his diaper, sat on Elmo, and peed. Right there. Without saying a word. Held it down and aimed perfectly.

I think I stopped breathing. Truthfully, I almost yelled at him because I didn’t know what the heck he was doing.

I instantly cheered and he cheered and then I (very enthusiastically) encouraged him to pick out a pair of underwear (like Daddy) to wear for the day. And then I cancelled everything for the rest of the day. It was time to test a theory that my best friend (and a mom of FIVE) told me about.

I tried not to make a big deal about this, but also wanted to praise him so he felt excited and wanted to keep doing it. If I’m being honest, I didn’t think we’d make it the full day without an accident. I mean, we never had. I would curse the posts of my friends with kids the same age who were attempting potty training for a day and never had an accident. That was not our life.

But this Twilight Zone of a day - it happened. All praises to Jesus who can move mountains - it happened. I’ll never forget that Monday night, sleepily looking at Mike and almost unbelievably confirming with him that it was true - not one accident that day.

The same thing happened Tuesday morning. And again, I cancelled everything. I even took off work Wednesday morning (shout out to my powHerhouse girl gang for stepping up for me to make this happen), determined that this would be it!!

We had an accident Wednesday night after dinner, and I was so discouraged, I cried. But Mike - who is not the cheerleader type - was rallying with and for me. He did not miss a beat in helping me realize that our tireless toddler was falling asleep at the table because he hadn’t napped all day. It wasn’t a reflection of our efforts as much as it was the poor kids inability to hold it in because he was exhausted.

The rest of the week was continuously smooth - if you don’t count the lack of groceries in my house because I refused to leave for anything. TGIF - Friday’s are our family pizza night and we all needed some celebrating (and food that wasn’t concocted like we were in college or still getting high).

This was it. This was the test. What the whole week was resting upon.

Could Andy leave the house and still pee on the potty?!

I made sure when we got into the restaurant I let him know (enthusiastically, again) that there were potty’s there. And I asked if he wanted me to show him where. He said no. I was so anxious.

About halfway through dinner, I noticed Andy fidgeting..

“I need to use the potty - want to come with me?” He said yes! My heart was elated. Truthfully, you would think I had just proposed I was filled with such ecstasy. But I guess that’s what motherhood does to you.

After that, my fear of Andy not being potty trained until college had dissipated and I was now a new woman, in a new season of motherhood, where I only had to wipe one butt. Just kidding - I still have to wipe his butt after he poops.

I can’t tell you the last time I spent a full five days in my house - no contact with the outside world. I honestly don’t know if I have ever done it. Maybe when Andy was first born?

Regardless, I was screaming through the rooftops like Elle Woods - “WE DID IT!”

As I thought back about our long journey, I wanted to share my own truths that I learned, to help encourage every other mother out there who has a naked toddler running around, desperately trying to potty train. I wanted to share this story for the moms who feel like their doing something wrong because the “three day method” didn’t work for them. This is for all the mama’s who haven't gone a day without an accident.

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Here are 5 truths I learned About Potty Training.

1. It takes time.

While you may be able to potty train your kid in three days, don’t beat yourself up like I did if you don’t. The best advice I ever got through this whole experience was from some amazing mom friends (you know who you are) who encouraged me that when Andy was ready - it would happen. There is no point in trying to rush it. If your babe is pushing 5 then maybe seek some help? But if your kid is under 4, take a breath, take a break, and try again later - or wait until they let you know they’re ready.

2. Buy fun underwear

I am so thankful that we had fun underwear (Cars, Sesame Street, little boy boxer briefs) already in the house for the dramatic day our worlds changed. If I had to put on another diaper or a pull up, I really don’t know if we would have had the same results. Fun underwear get kids excited - really, who doesn’t love getting some new undies? If you have a boy and Dad is around, let him take the lead every now and then. I think Andy watching Mike was huge in getting him to want to wear his underwear so he could be like daddy!

3. Reward accordingly

I had a “potty prize bucket” locked and loaded for quite a few months. It contained Swedish Fish, Dumdums, Usborne Stickers, and Oreo's. Shocker, he never wanted the stickers. While there are tons of sources that will tell you not to reward for going on the potty, we kick it old school and decided that this was what we were going to do - and it worked. The Dumdums were great until the sticks started getting stuck to Baloo. Not sure who was at fault more there - Andy for putting the sucker near the dog, or the dog for trying so hard to get the sucker.

4. Know your child

I know Andy is motivated by sweets because we never have candy in the house and apart from baking cookies, he really doesn’t eat many sugary snacks (unless he’s by grandma - thanks mom)! But this may not work for every kid. It’s important to know what will motivate your little one and work to reward (if that’s the route you choose) accordingly with their personality, interests, wants. I believe that Andy wanted that DumDum so bad he was determined to pee to get it. I mean, I know I would do some sketchy stuff for some deep dish or donuts. And he is my kid, so why would this be different?

5. Keep a potty in your car

The most important truth I learned was from my best friend (again - she is a wise woman) when she instructed me (type 1) to keep a potty in my car. That was our saving grace! That Saturday I took Andy to the Children’s museum and he willingly let me know he had to use the potty before and after our outing - and even while we were there! The potty in the car was our savior this afternoon as we were on our way home from the zoo and Andy anxiously exclaimed he had to poo as we were stopped by the longest freight train ever (thank you FP). I put the van in park and helped unstrap the boy and he did his stinky business right there. While it may seem utterly disgusting to think about, having to clean poop out of his underwear would be a far worse experience if you ask me. Again, what motherhood does to you.

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So whether you’re reading this for encouragement while you tread through this slippery season, or you’re reminiscing through the fog of those days, remember that even when you’re exhausted from what feels like a battlefield, or don’t feel like you’re doing enough or that your best is worth anything, know that you are loved and you are not alone.

These days are long, sister. But the years are short. And before you know it, you’ll be looking down at your baby wiping their own butt, wondering how you’ve made it this far. These monumental moments are just the beginning of the amazing adventure I am sure is ahead.