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  • Writer's pictureNicole Domitro

Ministry in Motherhood



“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” - Thomas Edison

Anyone else think that quote perfectly defines motherhood? For me, it’s a summary of how I view my life as a stay-at-home-mom.


Mike and I talked frequently about me staying home after Andy was born; could we afford it? Would we have childcare? Was it worth going back? Honestly, the idea of remaining home all day, without the chaos of working multiple jobs… that sounded like heaven.


I am so incredibly grateful for the opportunity Mike allows me in staying home with my babies. He supports us financially and gives us the freedom to adventure and explore and works very hard to do so.


But girl, was I wrong.


There are days I would gladly take the chaos of working again over the chaos of staying home all day with a toddler. Because every mother who has ever raised a tiny human past infancy knows that toddlers are basically little rampant, mischievous gremlins who are unintentionally trying to kill themselves all day and give you a heart attack in the process.


Working multiple jobs was never as hard as my hardest days being a mom. And that is the honest truth.





Not only am I responsible for making sure the kids stay alive, are fed, are happy, have clean diapers, clean clothes on, brushed their teeth, get potty trained, take their baths,have time to play & learn & socialize - but I also have to maintain our home; endless loads of laundry, dishes that somehow cease to escape me, hardwood floors that show every dirty footprint left behind. Not to mention the windows that are covered in hand prints, the table that has breakfast sticking to it, the bathroom that also serves as my husbands catch all. And once I get through a portion of my household duties, I sometimes remember we also have a dog that needs to be exercised, fed, and let out.


Motherhood is hard. Yes, it is so beautiful. But, it is so hard.


Even now, writing at 1PM feels like 7PM. Andy has refused to nap. Emma is screaming because Andy is roaring in her face. Baloo is barking at the door. And I am just trying to drink my almost 8 hour old coffee I made this morning while I vent out my frustrations.


I stop.

Pause.

Breathe.


It takes moments to write but hours to implement. If I have learned anything, it is to allow myself grace in the chaos. And that is where the beauty lies. When I feel at my most vulnerable and anxious when I am crying from screaming at my kids and feeling defeated by how impatient I am with them, and when I give into the doubt that I can mother at all, and am ready to call it quits - get in the car, and drive away - I try to turn to a verse I know always calls me back home.

“Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.” - Titus 2:3-5

There, in those three verses, is the beauty of motherhood.





When I can allow grace to wash over me and cover the lies I believe about how unworthy and unequipped I am, something truly extraordinary happens; I can love my husband and children and serve them with a pure heart and not bitterly. I have the strength to be self-controlled instead of screaming. I can take on household chores with joy instead of unhappily, and I can allow myself to appreciate my husband and care for his needs more than begrudge and resent him (seriously, how do you get so many q-tips on the bathroom floor, man).


Of course, I would be lying if I let you believe that this is how I actually live out my life. This is what I strive for. But I am still a work in progress. I am still learning (albeit ever so slowly) how to navigate the chaos of motherhood and embrace the beauty that it promises. Every day I get a little closer to the wife and mother I want to be; self controlled, patient, kind, loving.


In a very real sense, I want to exemplify Jesus to my family. I want them to see Him in me. And I am determined to succeed in the calling of motherhood that God has given me. This is my ministry. This beautiful chaos that I feel so unqualified and unworthy of experiencing - this is my calling. I want to disciple and mentor my children and help other women and mothers find their desire in the ministry of motherhood as well.


Motherhood is not easy. But it is worth it.


And when the night falls on the disarray of the day, and my babies are laying in Mike and mine’s tangled arms, breathing sweetly and calmly, and surrounded by the quiet that is so rare - I take a deep breath of my own and recognize the delicacy and futility of the moment and store it up in my heart to cherish and remember once the day breaks into morning and the battle begins again.




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